Memories and Fears
by chugirl2526
Summary: sequal 'Pain can lead to Feelings'. Vince hits his head badly feeding the animals and forgets everything about his life, and his love from Howard. Can Howard help him remember before long? Howince rated 'T' due to violence and swearing, rating may go up.
1. Chapter 1

Memories and Fear.

Summery- A little one off sequal to 'Pain can lead to Feelings'. Vince hits his head badly feeding the animals and forgets everything about his life, and his love from Howard. He even becomes more afraid of the animals in the zoo. Can Howard help him remember before long?

Disclaimer- The Boosh dosen't belong to me, it belongs to two wonderful people with more talent then me. I also do not own Don't You won't Me, Human League does.

Author's notes- Deadicated to violence4, ButtonsMagoo and stars of andromeda for all their wonderful reviews for my stories so far also Boffo I think is the horse Fossil mentions in the radio series

--

Another beautiful sunny day dawned on the Zooniverse, and Vince woke up more contented then ever in his life. He turned over in his bed to see Howard still sound asleep next to him, snoring gently. The electro poof smiled gently as he remembered all the good things they got up to last night and trailed his fingers down the jazz mavarick's face, before waking him up with a gentle kiss.

"Morning Vince" Howard smiled sleepily, gathering his lover in his arms and gently stroking his brown-blond hair.

"Morning Howard, we have to get up for work soon" Vince smiled back, enjoying the way Howard's long fingers caressed his strands and sighed happily, his eyes drooping shut again slowly. He let out a gasp of surprize when Howard rolled them over and hovered just above him.

"Who says we have to go? Why don't we just stay here and replay last night again?" He replied huskily, making Vince moan under him. Howard bent down and gathered Vince' soft lips with his own, giving him a hard kiss that left him breathless, his blue eyes dark with passion. They were about to get even more into their passion, but a screeching sound across the tennoy stopped them.

_'Moon, Noir, get your lazy asses down to the hoofed animal enclosure. Those things need feeding pronto, they're like brown sticks with horns coming out fo them now, ASAP. That's all'_

"Looks like we have to go to work now, big boy" Vince said, a disappointed look in his eyes appeared, but disappeared just as quick as he leapt from the bed and into the bathroom. Howard heard the shower go on and moved into the kitchen to make tea for them both. When Vince had finished and came out in his usual attire- a blue and yellow striped shirt underneath his green jacket ladened with badges, dark blue drainpipes with black boots, Howard went in for his shower and changed also- brown trousers and a white shirt under his green jacket, with brown shows on and they made their way down to the enclosure.

There, they gathered the bucket of feed and fed the deers and the goats before moving to the only horse in the place- Boffo the wonder horse who tramples all over people when annoyed. Unfortunatly for Vince and Howard, the same kid that pelted the buffalo with smarties was back, determinded to cause even more trouble. He got out his peashooter and satrted firing at the staillion getting him more and more annoyed.

"Hey Howard, can you hear thunder?" Vince asked his boyfriend, looking up from his job of cleaning out the water tank. Howard just shook his head and went back to filling the food bowl, Vince placed his headphone back in his ear as he listened to 'Don't You Want Me' at full volume. The jazz mavarick's head popped back up when the rumbling sound seemed to be getting louder and closer, almost if though something was after them.

Looking behind him, he saw Boffo stamping after them, a crazed look in his eyes "Vince, run!" Howard screamed, running off before he realised his other half couldn't hear him. He ran back for him and grabbed his arm, shocking Vince before dragging him to the entrance gate _'If we can get past that, Boffo will have time to cool off then before we finish the job' _Howard thought as their goal got closer.

Unfortunatly, there was a large rock sticking out the muddy filed and Vince caught his boot on it, going down hard as his hand slipped from his partner's, the horse getting closer. Howard went back for him as Vince tried getting up, collapsing with a hiss of pain back in the mud. The jazz mavarick looked on in horror as Vince turned over and saw Boffo rearing up his hooves, which fell down hard striking the younger man below.

Vince cried in pain as one hoof caught his right shoulder, the one the new lion attacked not too long ago. Through his tear filled eyes, he saw the horse rear once more before the hoof fell once more and caught the side of his head, knocking him out completely. Howard felt more angry and useless then before, but found some rope and made a lasso from it and caught Boffo around the neck with it before the crazed horse had another chance to hurt Vince.

He tied the other end of the rope to the fence, making sure Boffo was a feet few away from Vince and went back to his boyfriend. He gathered the pale, muddy form in his arms and tears formed in his brown eyes as he saw a large cut going from above Vince's eyebrow down to just by his ear, blood freely dripping from it. He thanked God that Vince bought his phone with him and shakily dialled an importnat number, his voice just as shaky with fear and sadness as he spoke to the operator.

"Hello, ambulance. It's my friend, he's been badly attacked..."

--

The two hours he'd been there were the longest of Howard's life. His stomach was twisting in knots as he thought of his lover badly injured, his mind calling out worst case senarios- What if he's too badly hurt? What if his head wound was too bad and he'd never wake again? What if? What if?

He let out the breath he was holding in as a young doctor walked over to him, a clipboard in his hand "My name is Dr Taylor, are you Howard Moon?!

"Yes, my boyfriend, Vince Noir was bought in after an animal attack. Is he going to be alright?"

"I'm pleased to say he's going to be fine. He's got a sprained ankle and his shoulder will be badly bruised for a few days, but we'll give him painkillers for that, his head wound had been cleaned and stitched up fine. He's just waking up from the drugs if you wish to see him"

Howard nodded his thanks, a smile of relief on his face. Dr Taylor led the way down a corridor and stopped outside a room, opening the door for howard to go in "If there's any problems, just press the button for help" He gave a small smile before moving away. Inside the door, Vince was lying on a white covered hospital bed, the sheets a little less whiter then himself. A white banage was wrapped around his head and his arm was tied in a sling, his foot also banaged.

Howard moved to the bed and clasped one of hands in Vince's, his other hand stroking the brown-blond hair out of Vince's eyes. The electro poof was stirring and his blue eyes slowly opened to reveal clouds of pain, moaning as he tried to sit up.

"Don't do that Vince, allow me" Howard said, lifting Vince's head up gently as he moved the pillow move againest the headboard and sat his boyfriend up gently, not wanting to cause him more pain. His mind was surprised when he felt Vince tense up againest his touch, looking into the blue eyes he now saw fear as well. The electro fairy tried moving away from him as best as he could, whimpers coming from the back of his throat. It was almost as though Vince was afriad of him.

"Who are you and where am I?" Vince asked in an almost tearful voice. The question both shocked and broke Howard's heart- Vince couldn't remember him!

--

I'm leaving it there for now hehehe i love being such a vince sadist, it's the best really, espically in slash enjoy from chugirl2526


	2. Chapter 2

Memories and Fear.

Summery- A little one off sequal to 'Pain can lead to Feelings'. Vince hits his head badly feeding the animals and forgets everything about his life, and his love from Howard. He even becomes more afraid of the animals in the zoo. Can Howard help him remember before long?

Disclaimer- The Boosh dosen't belong to me, it belongs to two wonderful people with more talent then me. I also do not own Don't You won't Me, Human League does.

Author's notes- thanks for all of you that reviewed

--

Vince had fallen back to sleep after being reassured that Howard wasn't gonna hurt him. As soon as he woke up, the electro poof's lone brain cell connected the pain he was feeling to the man sitting next to him and made him afraid of Howard, made him think that he was going to hurt Vince again.

Dr Taylor took Howard aside, his face grave "I'm sorry but it seems the bang to the head has cause Vince to forget who he is, forget his life"

"Will it be permanent?" The jazz mavarick asked, worried.

"I'm not really sure, some cases can be permanent, some can be short term and come back after a few days" The doctor admitted.

"Is there anything to do to help him?" Howard asked, hopeful.

"The best thing to do is take him home to a familiar environment, surround him with things he might remember and hope for the best. Also make sure he has plenty of rest for his shoulder and ankle, all I need is for you to sign this form and he'll be free to go" They shook hands and Howard moved back into Vince's room, sitting next to the bed. He wanted to hold his boyfriend's hand but he didn't want him to freak out again.

Vince woke up a few minutes later, watching as the strange man from before- did he see his name was Howard?- sitting next to him with his hand covering his eyes, not showing emotion. He tentitively reached his hand out and brushed Howard's fingers, making the older man jump in shock, which made Vince jump as well.

"God Vince, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you" Howard said, a bit happy that Vince was trusting him.

"What happened? Where am I?" Vince asked quietly, his eyes looking everywhere around the room before setting on Howard's.

"You were attacked at the zoo by a horse, you're in the hospital" Howard explained.

"Zoo? I'm a zookeeper? I can't remember" Vince said, the confusion in his voice breaking Howard's heart.

"You have memory loss, you can't remember most of your life. But don't worry, Howard Moon, man of action will help you remember" He smiled down at his friend, Vince giving a small smile back before it disappeared once more.

"I'm sorry, but I can't remember who you are. But I know I can trust you somehow, like there's a strong bond between us" Before he knew it, Vince was crying, small tears rolling down his pointed cheeks before Howard gathered him in his arms, carefully of Vince's injuries.

"No, it's not your fault. Please don't cry, you'll remember soon enough when I take you back to the zoo, then I'll tell you everything I know about your life, I promise" Vince tensed againest him, but soon relaxed in the hug "I know, thank you Howard"

--

The taxi ride from the hospital was painfully silent, Vince kept his eyes firmly at the window, looking out at the rainy surroundings as though trying to memorise everything in case howard asked him something. The jazz mavarick himself was worried that maybe Vince's memeories would never come back, that his friend would never remember anything important in his life.

When the taxi stopped outside, Vince didn't even rush out of the rain to save his hair, he just stood there as Howard paid for the taxi and lead him to their shared hut. Inside, Howard sat him down as he made tea for them both and watched as Vince took in everything around him. The electro fairy got up and started looking better at the stuff in the rooms.

Moving into the bedrooms, he opened one of the two wardrobes and saw it full of brown, biege and other dull coloured clothing. His mind was trying to connect the clothing to something he knew, something close to him "Hey Howard? This all your stuff?" He called out, the jazz mavarick running to him.

"Yes, that's right Vince, you remember. This is all your clothing here" Howard opened the other wardrobe and saw the shocked but delighted look upon his partner's face at the colourful items inside "These are all genius, I can't believe I wear this stuff"

Vince then saw the make-up on a vainty table near a bed and his smile dropped a bit "Wait, is this stuff mine as well? I'm not some sort of tranny or weirdo, am I?"

"No, Vince. You've always liked to dress colourfully to impress" Howard answered.

"So I'm vain? My life consists of looking good so get people I don't even know to like me?" Vince said quietly, a frown crossing his face.

"No...well you are sort of vain, but those people aren't your true friends. True friends would be friends with you for you, not for your fashion, not for your looks, but for your personality. You are a wonderful kind person who'd never hurt anyone intentionally, you're kind, you're you're always helpful to other people. Even to animals you're kind. Those are the things that make me love you" Howard cut off as he watched for Vince's reaction.

"You love me? Have I ever hurt you?" He asked. Howard thought back to all the times before when Vince would take the mickey out of him, his clothing, his music "A couple of times, but I forgave you for them"

"But I hurt you, you shouldn't even be talking to me then, let alone love me" Tears formed in those blue eyes he loved so much, so Howard gathered Vince into his arms closely.

"Listen to me Vince, I forgave you. I love you with all my heart and I will never stop loving you. I know you can't remember our relationship, but I know deep down you love me back" Vince turned his head and sobbed in Howard's shoulder at the older man's words. Howard sat them down on the bed and let Vince ride out his tears, rubbing his hand up and down his back.

"I...can feel that feeling, Howard. I can sort of remember us admitting our love...something happened to me...like what happened to me yesterday" Howard knew he would have to tell him about the bad things in his past.

"You were attacked by a lion on that day. You told me you were gonna die but you didn't want to before saying you loved me, and we've been together since" He could feel the smaller man tremble beneath him "Do the animals hate me? Is that why they attack me?"

"No, you're good friends with all the animals. That lion was new and jealous that you were friends with his mate and attacked you, and the horse only attacked you because some kid provoked it"

"Howard? Has anything else in my life been bad? Do I have any family left?" The question nearly broke Howard's heart "I'm sorry, but I don't know, you never told me. I only knew that before I met you, you grew up in some forest with Bryan Ferry and a load of animals"

"Bryan Ferry? Who's he?" Vince asked, confused once more and his mind tried putting pictures to the words.

"He was this singer who you lived with in a hut made of bus tickets, but he went on tour a lot so he left you with all these animals. That's probably how you can speak to animals" Howard answered "I can speak to anaimals?" Vince asked, shocked at this infomation.

"Yeah, I'll show you tomorrow but now it's late and the doctor says for you to rest" He gently laid Vince down on his bed and took of the electro poof's boots and jacket, making sure he took his medication before slipping a blanket over him. He went to walk out the room when a quiet voice stopped him "Please, don't go. Don't leave me"

He turned back to see Vince staring at him in fear "I'm afriad, please...stay with me" The anguish in his voice tore at Howard's heart, so he kicked off his own boots and jacket and got under the blanket with Vince's, scooping the younger man close to him. He smiled as he felt Vince relax into him and soon dropped off himself.

--

There, a sort of fluffy/angst chapter for you all next up- meeting Naboo, Bollo, Fossil and Bainbridge hehe poor Vince. from chugirl2526


	3. Chapter 3

Memories and Fear.

Summery- A little one off sequal to 'Pain can lead to Feelings'. Vince hits his head badly feeding the animals and forgets everything about his life, and his love from Howard. He even becomes more afraid of the animals in the zoo. Can Howard help him remember before long?

Disclaimer- The Boosh dosen't belong to me, it belongs to two wonderful people with more talent then me.

Music I will be usuing in this chapter: Cars by Gary Numan, Dreadlock Holiday by 10cc, Never Make Me Cry by Fleetwood Mac and In The Morning by Razorlight.

Author's notes- thanks for all of you that reviewed

--

The next morning, Howard jumped from the bed as he heard loud music playing from the living room- Electro music. Getting up, he walked out the bedroom and saw Vince sitting among a pile of CDs, a CD player sat in front of him blaring out loud. Howard couldn't help and smile at his friend, who was slowly bobbing his head with the tune, a smile on his face as he enjoyed the melody.

Vince was wearing a pair of his tight fitting black drainpipes with a white and light blue striped shirt on and Howard wondered how he got dressed without any help and his arm in a sling. One of my many mysteries of his friend, he guessed. As if he sensed someone behind him, Vince turned and saw Howard leaning in the doorway, watching him "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to wake you, I'll turn it off" He went to press the stop button when a hand grabbed his to stop him.

"No, you can listen to your music if you wish. I'll just go and make us some tea" Vince smiled back at him and resumed his listening, as Howard went into the little kitchen area to make tea. It was great that Vince was somewhat happy with some of his stuff around him, maybe the doctor's advice was right. He turns around and sees Vince next to him using the crutch the doctor gave him to help him walk, grabbing his tea before moving back to his music.

"Hey Howard, you won't believe how great some of these songs are, listen to this one" Vince turned on the next song and the words hit Howard like a bullet.

_'__Here in my car, I feel safest of all, I can lock all my doors, it's the only way to live, in cars'_

Howard watched as Vince danced along to the song, his hips swaying slowly from side to side as he held on to his crutch, his hair gently swaying in his eyes. The jazz mavarick couldn't help but smile as he drank his tea and watched his younger friend enjoying himself, he deserved it after what happened, but he looked worried when Vince stopped and gripped his shoulder in pain, settling down onto the sofa.

"It's alright, I've got your medicine. Just rest there for a minute" Howard said, giving Vince one of his tablets, which he took with his tea. After a couple of minutes, the look of pain went down as the medicine started to work "Thanks Howard, must have over done it"

Howard thought for a minute about whether Vince would be up for work today, but his question was squashed in his mind when the electro poof got up and heading towards the door, grabbing his green work jacket along the way "Come on then, I want to see this gift you said I had working" He gave one of his famous dizzy grins and walked out, Howard close behind him.

--

Outisde, Howard introduced Vince to the many different aniamls, a little worried when Vince wouldn't go near any of them, even though they were behind cages. He showed him to Jack Cooper, the resident fox and assured Vince the fox wasn't going to attack him, pleased Vince went a bit closer.

"Alright, Vince?" Jack asked him in his scottish accent, making the electro fairy jump back slightly.

"Howard, he spoke to me" Vince said, a little upset and confused.

"I told you that you can understand animals, you can also talk back to thom you know, they'll understand you too" Howard reassured him, Vince took a breath of air and went closer to Jack again "I'm alright, you?"

"Lookin' better then you, been in an accident or somethin'?" Jack asked concerned.

"I was attacked by some horse, I can't remember much now about my life" Vince admitted.

"Don't worry about it, I'm sure it'll all come floodin' back to ya" Vince smiled at the fox and reached in slowly between the bars to stroke the red fur, enjoying the fact the fox was letting him tickle under his white chin.

"Come on now Vince, let's get back to work" They both left Jack and moved towards Fossil's office.

"Who's Fossil?" Vince asked, once more confused.

"He's...well...a sort of retard. He's the manager of the zoo, yet knows no names of any of the animal species" Howard explained as best he could, which was really quire accurate. He knocked on the door and heard music coming from inside- 'Dreadlock Holiday' drifting through the woodwork, as they went inside they saw Bob Fossil dancing around to the music, looking a complete and total tit.

_'I was walkin' down the street, concentratin' on truckin' right, I heard a dark voice beside of me and I looked round in a state of fright. I saw four faces, one mad, a brother from the gutter, they looked me up and down a bit and turned to each other. I say, I don't like cricket'_

"Jesus, Moon! Don't sneak up on me like that" Fossil quickly turned off his music and sat down, a bluch crossing his face "Now, where were you yesterday? You went off without anyone knowing"

"Vince was attacked yesterday, he needed help" Howard defended himself, indicating to Vince who was sitting down and looking around the office in boredom.

"God Vincey, what happened to you?" Fossil asks, moving closer to Vince, making the smaller man uncomfortable. Howard notised this and moved closer to his friend.

"He was attacked by that stupid horse we're keeping. It's a danger to everything and anyone in the public, we have to get rid of it" Howard almost shouted.

"Fine then, you and Vince are to transport it to that animal offenders place you took that hairy Russain carpet guy too. You can take it tomorrow, now get out of here" Fossil said, before going back to his music and resuming his dancing. Howard looked angry for a moment before getting Vince and walking out the office.

--

"I can't believe the nerve of that man, he knows you're hurt and he's sending us out to do this? How's he expecting us to put the bloody thing on the van to take it...?" Howard's rant was cut short when he saw Vince staring at a large camel shaped kiosk "What's in there? Is it gifts?"

'Of course, Naboo could help us' Howard thought "Naboo lives there, he might have something that could help us with the horse" He held Vince's hand gently and lead the way, stopping outside the door to see the younger man standing there, resisting him "What's he like? Will he like me?"

"Of course, he's one of those true friends I told you about. He's a shaman, great at magic" Vince accepted this answer and got closer to Howard, a little nervous. The jazz mavarick knocked on the door and it opened, revealing a small man in blue robes and a turban clouded by smoke "Alright? What's going on?"

"Listen Naboo, can we come in? I need a favour" Naboo nodded and moved out the way for his friends to pass. Inside, the room was sorrunded with beads and jewels hanging down, soft cushions scattered around. A hooka was on with wisps of smoke drifted from it, music playing in the background from a record player.

_'Go and do what you want, I know that you have the need, you know that I'll wait, as long as it takes, so go and do what you want. You'll never make me, you'll never make me, you'll never make me cry...'_

"What you want then?" Naboo asked, once settled down with his hooka once more. Howard sat on the sofa in the room with Vince, who was staring around in amazement and wonder at all the colour and glittery objects that surrounded them.

"Fossil wants us to moved that Boffo the so-called wonder horse to the animal offenders place again, but how we gonna move it without it getting annoyed and hurting Vince again?" Howard asked, worried "Don't you have any potions or lotions to help?"

Naboo looked thoughtful, then got up and rummaged through a cupboard to his side. He bought out many small potion bottles of every colour- ruby red, sapphire blue and emereld green. Howard could see in the corner of his eye Vince itching to hold the brightly coloured glass and smiled, but stopped him by placing his hand on Vince's.

"Here it is, I knew it was here somewhere" Naboo called out, bringing out a small wooden tube with small green darts "Tranquilizer darts, will knock him out no problem for a few hours. Just aim and blow"

"Thanks Naboo, I owe you one" Howard said, before the door opened once more and a large dark furred gorilla entered "Hi Bollo, how you doing?"

Bollo just ignored him and stared at Vince, who was staring back to him in fear "What happened to precious Vince?"

"Just an accident, he'll be fine in a few days. Just can't remember much" Howard answered, feeling Vince's hand tense under his "I think it's time for us to go now, big day tomorrow Vince" He got up with Vince following him, quite closely as they went past Bollo. The electro poof was glad when they finally got outside, away from the large animal.

"Vince, he wouldn't have hurt you. He's your friend too, one of your best friends" Howard said, holding his friend close to him.

"Well, I didn't know that, did I? Could have told me before" Vince snapped, instantly feeling guilty "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to say that"

"No, I'm sorry Vince, I should have told you more about the people here. Come on, let's get back to the flat" They walked back towards their home and went inside, Vince playing his music once more as Howard made them some tea.

_'I don't know what I'm doing wrong, maybe I've been here too long, the songs on the radio sound the same, everybody just looks the same. But then last night was so much fun and now your sheets are dirty, the streets are dirty too but you never look back over what you've done. Remember when you were young, you'd lose yourself. In the morning, you know you won't remember a thing, in the morning, you know it's gonna be alright'_

After they'd eaten, they moved into the bedroom, Howard making sure Vince took his medicine, before they lay next to each other on the bed in each others arms. Howard could feel Vince's lips on his as they kissed gently "Thank you for everything, Howard" He layed his head on the jazz mavarick's chest and fell straight to sleep. Howard stayed awake for few moments, smiling as his fingers played with the silky strands before going to sleep himself.

--

another great chapter if i say so myself ;) i hope this chapter has everything- music, humour, fluff and angst hehe from chugirl2526.


	4. Chapter 4

Memories and Fear.

Summery- A little one off sequal to 'Pain can lead to Feelings'. Vince hits his head badly feeding the animals and forgets everything about his life, and his love from Howard. He even becomes more afraid of the animals in the zoo. Can Howard help him remember before long?

Disclaimer- The Boosh dosen't belong to me, it belongs to two wonderful people with more talent then me.

Music I will be usuing in this chapter: Truely, Madly, Deeply- Savage Garden, Wind Beneath My Wings- Bette Midler, Video Killed the Radio Satr- Buggles and Patience- Take That.

Author's notes- thanks for all of you that reviewed espically violence4, stars of andromeda and Beechwood0708

Warnings: This chapter will contain much angst on Vince's side, so tissues at the ready. Will contain character deaths, blood, violence and swearing so if you think it needs to go up to a 'M' rating, please tell me. I'll apologise in advance if people takes offense to any of this, so please tell me if it does and I'll change it.

--

_'__Just have a little patience, I'm still hurting from a love I lost, I'm feeling your frustration, any minute all the pain will stop. Just hold me close inside your arms tonight, don't be too hard on my emotions...'_

Howard woke in the middle of the night to the soft music coming from the living room, notising Vince wasn't with him asleep in his arms. He got up and walked into the dark roomheart breaking when he saw his friend sitting up on the sofa, a blanket covering him and tears running down his face "Vince? You alright?"

Vince looked up and Howard's breath caught in his throat when he saw the light gone from the electro poof's eyes, the usual sparkle gone from his bright blue eyes, leaving them light-ish grey and dull. Howard walked over to him and gathered his boyfriend in his arms "Please Vince, tell me what's wrong"

Vince tried to speak, but the words came out as a broken sob and he collapsed in the older man's arms, holding him close as the tears came harder and faster "I'm...so sorry Howard. I'm scared...so scared that I won't remember anything. About...about my family, my friends and more importantly about us. I'm scared I won't remember how our relationship works and maybe you'll get tired of me not remembering..." The rest of words were cut off by more sobs.

Howard was worried and scared for Vince, he'd never seen him like this- upset, sad and crying. Vince was usually made of colour, sunshine and sugar, nothing would usually upset him. Sure he'd have a strop, but it would only last a few minutes before he'd be happy again, bouncing around like he's on some bouncy castle. He rubbed his hands up and down Vince's back and lifted his head up with a finger under his chin, raising him up so he could see into those eyes he loved.

"Listen to me, you will remember family and friends, you will remember your life. And us, no matter what you can remember or not, I will always love you and be with you, I promise. I would never leave you, we've been through too much for that"

_'I really wanna start over again, I know you wanna be my salvation, the one that I can always depend, I'll try to be strong. Believe me I'm trying to move on, it's complicated but understand me...'_

They sat like that for another few minutes while Vince started calming down at Howard's words "Thank you, I love you too Howard. I just wanna remember things again, why is it taking so long?" He asked, agitated.

"I'm not sure, but we have to give it time Vince. The doctor said it would take some time, besides you're remembering quite a bit already. You remembered some things about me, like my clothing and my jazz music"

"I hate jazz, dosen't sound as good as electro music. I think I'm also allergic to it, I held one of your records yesterday and my fingers got this rash on it, but as soon as I touched my music, it had gone" Vince explained, making Howard chuckle "I had this dream, that's why I woke up and came in here, to try and work it out"

"What was the dream about?" The jazz mavarick asked, hoping it might spur on memories in his young friend's mind.

"There was this black shadow that froze people, then there was this evil kangaroo with gloves on that bit off poeple's faces. There was also images of a fiery place with a large, hairy thing sitting on throne with two baboons next to him, talking to the grim reaper of all people. And strange creatures, humans with animal limbs on them. And there was some kind of pink slug thing made of bubble gum and a hat walking around, talking to a short bloke with a head of cheese, two colourful girls with instruments and a green skinned cockney bloke with a polo for an eye. What does it mean? Have we seen them before?" Vince explained, shaking his head slightly as to shed some light on the dream.

"We've seen them before, you're remembering loads there Vince" Howard grinned down to him "See, you can do it, I'm so proud of you" That made Vince give him a shy little grin "What are they though?"

"There're adventures we've been on since we've been working at the zoo. Come on, back to bed and I'll tell you about them" Vince smiled, turned off the music and followed Howard back into the bedroom, lying in his friend's warm arms and listened intently as the jazz mavarick explained about their adventures- about killeroos, hitchers, bands, modwolves, apes, mutants, tundras and Charlie before dropping off, satisfied and content as he felt warm lips kiss his forehead and strond arms hold him closer.

--

Morning soon shone through the window, lighting the couple lying extremely close to each other, smiles clearly on their faces. Vince woke first, more ahppier then yesterday after learning more about his life. He was good at music and pulling shapes and was nearly in a band cause of it, but he and Howard kinda ruined the gig and were nearly stabbed to death. He wrote books on Charlie, a bubble gum creature of his imagination and nearly got a book deal cause of that, but some pompus wanker called Bainbridge took it away from him. But after everything that happened, Howard would be there for him, Howard would always help him out, Howard would always save him.

Vince placed a quick peck to Howard's lips and made his way to the bathroom, not before taking the CD player with him. A couple of minutes later, Howard rolled over and notised Vince missing once more, startling him awake, but he calmed down when he heard the water running in the bathroom from the shower, a slow song playing.

_'I'll be your dream, I'll be your wish, I'll be your fantasy. I'll be your hope, I'll be your love, be everything that you need. I'll love you more with every breath ,Truly, madly, deeply do. I will be strong, I will be faithful 'cause I'm counting on. A new beginning, a reason for living, a deeper meaning, yeah..."_

He could hear Vince singing along, his voice souded much more joyful then during the night. He smiled when he heard the water turning off, the music going off a second after and out came the electro poof himself, rubbing his hair with a spare towel and another one draped around his lean, pale frame. He was still singing the song quietly to himself and never notised Howard looking at him until he dropped the towel he was using for his hair.

"Shit, I woke you again, didn't I? Sorry" Howard chuckled and patting the space on the bed next, prompting Vince to sit next to him. Them he took the younger man into his arms and kissed him gently, but passionatly, making Vince gasp in pleasure and close his eyes, relaxing into the hold on him. When they broke apart, Vince's breath was caught in his throat at the brightness of happiness in Howard's small brown eyes "See, I told you you wouldn't do anything wrong"

Vince smiled up at him and kissed him again, only more harder. His tounge licked Howard's lip to demand entrance, which was given and he took courage and plunged his tounge in, duelling each other for dominance, breaking apart to get much needed air "I think you're right" Vince agreed, a sly smile on his face.

"Come on now you, time to get that useless horse to that offender place" Howard said, getting up and going to the bathroom, sounds of the shower and the CD player starting once more. Vince listened to the comforting words, singing softly along as he knew that everything will become fine, he had Howard and he was remembering things and that's all that mattered.

_'I want to stand with you on a mountain, I want to bathe with you in the sea ,I want to lay like this forever, until the sky falls down on me. And when the stars are shining brightly in the velvet sky, I'll make a wish send it to heaven, then make you want to cry. The tears of joy for all the pleasure in the certainty, that we're surrounded by the comfort and protection of the highest powers, in lonely hours, the tears devour you...'_

--

Getting Boffo onboard was no problem. After getting Vince to a safe distance, Howard got the tranquilizer darts and knocked the horse out quickly, then he got Joey Moose (lazy git wasn't doing anything anyway, just eating his stupid tomatoes) and they both got the horse onto the Zooniverse van and he and Vince were off through the countryside towards the forest of doom where they found the offender's place last time. Vince had the radio on again, music plusing through the front of the van as he bobbed his head to the tune.

_'I heard you on my wireless back in '52, lyin' awake intent on tuning in on you, if I was young it didn't stop you coming through, oh-a-oh. They took the credit for your second symphony, rewritten by machine on new technology and now I understand the supernova scene, oh-a-oh. I met your children,oh-a-oh what did you tell them? Video killed the radio star, video killed the radio star, in my mind and in my car, we can't rewind we've gone too far, Whoa! Oh - aoh – oh - oh – oh, oh – aoh – oh - oh - oh...'_

"Hey, Howard? Something about this place seems familiar, like I've been here before and not with you..." Vince stated, trailing off as he looked out the window, an uneasy feeling coming over him as he watched the rain and the trees of the forest go drifting past, lightening flashing to make them more creepy as they waved in the wind.

"Well, you did grow up in a forest with Bryan Ferry. Maybe you're just remember experiences from then" Howard suggested, placing a hand on Vince's arm, earning a smile from the younger man. Then, something banged into the van, making Howard grip the wheel hard and breaking quickly "Shit, what was that?"

"I dunno Vince, you alright?" Before the electro poof could answer, another bang shook them. They peered out the window for any sign of what was attacking them, but there was nothing but darkness and leafs out there. Another bang from the back of the van gave them their answer- Boffo had finally woken up and was furious "Shit, Naboo said they'd last until we got to the animal offender's place"

There was one last bang as the powerful horse kicked the back doors open and they heard hooves clatter out and into the darkness "Is he gone?" Asked Vince, his voice quiet and full of fear. Howard was about to answer when a lightening bolt flashed and he saw Boffo outside Vince's window, hooves raised ready to strike "Vince, look out!"

The hooves fell and smashed into the window, glass flying everywhere. Vince managed to duck in time to miss any large pieces, but smaller pieces cut his cheek and just above his eyebrow, making him wince and gasp in pain. Howard held him close to himas he watched the horse rear up to take another attack, but the jazz mavarick had a different plan and opened his door, bolting out into the storm dragging his boyfriend with him.

He looked behind and saw Boffo had given chase after them, not giving up until one of them had gone down. They were making good headway, until Howard tripped over a large rock, making them both fall into a crumpled heap in the mud and Vince hiss in pain as he fell on his shoulder. It looked as though there was no way out and Howard covered Vince as best he could with his larger body, eyes closing as luck was desided to be on their side.

Luckily it was and a yellow and black spotted, large cat rushed out in front of them, growling loudly before pouncing on the horse, razor sharp teeth digging into the manic Boffo's throat and tearing out it out. Blood gushed out everywhere and Howard kept his hand over Vince's eyes, not wanting him to see this.

The leopard finished killing the helpless horse and watched as its prey fell to the floor in a dead heap, its eyes empty and its life quickly draining away. The large cat turned round to reguard the two humans in front of him, sniffing them until he found a familiar scent "Vince?" It purred.

Vince looked up from Howard's hold and looked the leopard right in the eyes, his mind putting a name to the beast in front of him "Jahooli?" He gave a small smile before reaching his hand out, letting the big cat sniff his fingers before licking them, getting a slight bit of red blood on the pale skin "It is you" Vince launched himself out of his boyfriend's arms and hugged the leopard tight, a smile on his face "Thank you, you saved us"

"Bryan said he saw a familiar van driving through the forest and sent me to find you. Looks as though I'm in time" It purred, looking down at the horse's body. Vince looked down at the corpse too and was nearly sick as a memory of a deer Jahooli killed when he was a kid came flooding back.

"I remember...I remember that deer...we killed that poor deer and ate its flesh raw. We just killed it...like it was a game and just ate it" Vince admitted, guilt flooding his heart and tears running down his cheeks, stinging his cut. He didn't care, it was his punishment for his past crime.

"No Vince, you were young, you didn't know it was wrong then" Howard said, taking his lover into his arms and stroked his mud caked hair, placed a kiss on his forehead and minding his cut "You were probably punished for it when you were younger, but I'm sure it's all been forgotten now"

Vince finished crying and sniffed a few times before nodding "I'm sorry Vince, I should never had done that with you or in front of you" Jahooli admitted, his voice soft yet full of regret (well, his voice to Vince) "Now, I think we should get out of this storm. Come, Bryan is waiting for you"

The two humans followed him quickly towards a large tree in the middle of a clearing, with a large house made of bus tickets in the centre. They climbed up the ladder (well, planks) nailed to the tree and inside the strange home. In it, furniture made from more bus tickets lined the living room- chairs, a table and a sofa. The only real life items that weren't made from bus tickets were a small television on top of a smaller ticket table and a CD player on the larger table "Bryan, they're here now" Jahooli called out, before moving to go out the home "It was nice to see you both again" Then he was gone, Vince giving a small wave behind him.

"Vince, is that you?" A deep voice called out, making him spin round. Walking out of the kitchen area (no cooker unfortunatly) was Bryan Ferry, in his white jacket and black trousers. He looked at Vince in shock before going over to his adoptive son and hugged him close "I'm glad to see you" Howard smiled at the tender reunion "What happened to you?" Bryan asked.

"Some horse at the zoo attacked me and we were meant to bring it here, but it got loose from the van and smashed my window in. The glass cut me a bit and it trapped me and Howard- have you met Howard? He's my boyfriend, I love him so much- anyway it had us trapped but ten Jahooli came out and killed it. We're thankful for him doing that, even though it was a nasty way to go" Vince explained, near enough in one breath.

Bryan listened intently before making a decision "You can both stay here for the night, you can have Vince's old room. Now go and get cleaned up, there's a first aid kit in the bathroom" He disappeared back into the kitchen, probably to put tea on. The couple then went to Vince's old room- once again adorned with a tickt bed, wardrobe and bedside table. Howard found the first aid kit and cleaned Vince's cuts on his face, carefully taking the glass out. Once he finished, Vince tried to keep his eyes open and was failing terribly.

"Come on you, bed" Vince didn't object as he snuggled under the soft blanket on the ticket bed, eyes slowly drooping as feelings of safety overwhelmed him. Howard watched him for a second before moving out the room and joining Bryan in the living room, where the tea was also waiting on the table.

"How come the house dosen't melt while it rains?" Howard asked, curious.

"I got the tickets that were covered in plastic, great for waterproofing" Bryan admitting "So, you and Vince are together then?" Howard nodded, a shy smile on his face "Well, if you treat my godson wrong, I'll send Jahooli after you"

Howard looked Bryan in the eyes, confused "Godson? I thought he was only your adoptive son?"

Bryan sighed and walked over to a window, watching the storm drifitng down to the ground "Vince has never told you about his parents, has he?" Howard shook his head, not liking what was gonna be said "I was very good friends with his parents, we went to the same school and became best friends. When Vince was born, I was the first they asked to be a godparent, I was thrilled and they were very happy together until that day..." His words were lost as small tears formed in his eyes.

"What...what day? What happened to them?" Howard asked, a lump forming in his throat. When Bryan looked at him with such sadness in his eyes, the jazz mavarick knew it was worse then he ever imagined "Vince was five years old when his parents were killed in front of him, he heard and saw everything..."

+Flashback+

_Five year old Vince Noir was enjoying his day out with his parenst, Isabella and Micheal Noir. Their last stop was to the local bank, where Vince's mother told him to go and draw some pictures while they were waiting getting served. The young boy was enjoying himself as he drew a picture of him and his family outside Bryan's home in the tree, where he was going to stay for the weekend. He loved staying with his godfather and the animals, such interesting times._

_He ran over to his mother and said he was going to the toilet and that he didn't need any help cause he was becoming a big boy. A minute later, Vince was about to leave the toilet when he heard rough voices outside._

_"Alright, everyone get your fucking hands in the air and give over all the money. If anyone calls the police, I'll blow your fucxking brains out!" Vince gasped in horror and opened the door a crack, seeing two tall men holding guns at his parents and the woman working behind the counter His father looked over at him and quietly without speaking, told Vince to go back into the toilet and stayed where it was safe._

_"Carl, you get the money, I'm going for a slash" Vince heard the footsteps getting closer and silent tears of fear fell down his face "No, stop!" His father's voice called out, angry yet defensive._

_"Oh yeah, what you gonna do about it old man?" One of the thugs asked, before a shot rand out echoing in the large bank hall. Vince could hear his mother scream in horror and his tears fell even faster, fear for his father growing every second "What the fuck did you do that for, Nick? Now the police will have us down for fucking murder as well"_

_"Shut up Carl and get the fucking money, and you stupid bitch, shut the fuck up as well" Vince could only cower even further as he heard a second shot ring out and his mother's screams were cut off "Jesus Nick, we are gonna go down for fucking life, you do know that right? Stop fucking shooting people" Then an alarm rang out and Vince jumped from the sound "The fucking police are coming now, let's get out of here before we go down"_

_"Alright, alight, let's go but first, we don't need any witnesses blabbing..." A third shot rang out and Vince was sure the lady behind the counter was killed too. He heard the men run out and quietly opened the door, making sure the coast was clear. The floor was coating in blood, the red sticky substance making his trainers stick to the tiles. He felt sick as he looked over to his parents, lying together in a large puddle of blood._

_"Mom...dad..." He said quietly, before breaking down into tears and running to his parents. The shots had caught them both in the chest, where their hearts would be, their eyes empty and their faces contorted in masks of horror. Vince placed their hands togther and lay down between them, not caring if he got their blood on his clothes and in his hair, he was with his parents and that's what mattered before he drifted off._

_A few minutes later, he felt someone shaking him gently awake "Vince? Vince? Wake up, please" He opened his blue eyes and peered into the face of Bryan, who was looking down at him concerned. Vince then realised he was on a soft bed in a white room, his parents nowhere in sight "Mom? Dad?"_

_Bryan looked away for a few seconds before turning back again "Your parents have gone away for a while Vince"_

_"Are they coming back?" Vince asked, his question heartbreaking._

_"No, I'm afraid not. Remember I told you that when people go away, they go to that happy place in the stars where they live in harmony with the animals that had to go away? Well, your parents have gone there" Bryan tried his best to explain._

_"So, they're with my hamsters, Whipper and Snuffles?" Vince asked, rememebring his pets that died not too long agao._

_"Yes, and they're all gonna be watching over you and making sure you'll be fine"_

_"Are you gonna look after me now?" Bryan smiled sadly at him "Yes, you're gonna live with me in the forests with all the animals. It's what your parents would have wanted"_

_A week later, Isabella and Micheal's funeral came and Bryan stood holding his godson's hand as the coffins were lower into the ground, music softly playing in the background._

_'Did you ever know that you're my hero, and everything I would like to be? I can fly higher than an eagle, 'cause you are the wind beneath my wings...'_

+End Flashback+

"The only time Vince ever spoke about his parents was when the police wanted a statement from him. They could caught the men that did that to him on the CCTV cameras and they got life without bail. Poor kid lost both his parents in the worst way possible, maybe it's best he can't remember it now" Bryan said, running his hand over his face to rub away his tears of the memory. Turning round, he saw Howard crying freely, silent tears running down his face. Then they both heard faint crying coming from the bedroom and Howard rushed inside.

Sitting by the door was Vince, tears running down his face as he heard the conversation "I remember now Howard, there was just so much blood and they...were just lying there...and...and..." He broke down again, curling up on himself and wrapping his arms around his knees, body shaking with heavy tears.

"Vince, I'm sorry...I'm so sorry that happened to you. No wonder you never wanted to tell me...if I ever met the poeple that did that to you I'd..." Howard wrapped his arms around the smaller man and held him close when Vince uncurled himself and hugged the older man close, their tears mingling with each other's as the past dealt another painful blow to Vince. Maybe remembering the past wasn't always the best, but it was too late to take the memories back now.

--

I'm sorry if this affects anyone reading this, but I promise there won't be anymore angst now. I just wanted to try it out, but I think i've gone a bit over board hehe please don't hate me. Also sorry for all the hardcore swearing, i'm not usually writing that from chugirl2526.


	5. Chapter 5

Memories and Fear.

Summery- A little one off sequal to 'Pain can lead to Feelings'. Vince hits his head badly feeding the animals and forgets everything about his life, and his love from Howard. He even becomes more afraid of the animals in the zoo. Can Howard help him remember before long?

Disclaimer- The Boosh dosen't belong to me, it belongs to two wonderful people with more talent then me.

Music I will be using in this chapter: Starz in Their Eyes- Just Jack and Angel- Sarah McLachlan (thanks radar-rox for this song idea )

Author's notes- thanks for all of you that reviewed just a short chapter this time, but still with music, angst and fluff

--

The next day, the storm cleared up and the ground was seeped with mud and leaves blown from the trees. Inside the ticket home, Howard woke up with a feeling of unease about him and looked down at the smaller figure in his arms, still asleep. Dried black tear streaks were prominant on Vince's pale cheeks, breaking Howard's heart as he remembered their conversation last night.

His thoughts were broken as Vince sniffed in his sleep and woke slowly, his blue eyes bloodshot from crying and loss of sleep, it was a rough night with the storm and the memories. He looked up into his boyfriend's eyes, gave a small but sad smile and kissed him gently before untangling himself from Howard's arms, getting his clothes from the foot of the bed (Bryan had been kind enough to clean and dry their clothes for them) and made his way into the bathroom to change. When they both got ready, they made their way into the living room and said their goodbyes to Bryan.

"Goodbye Vince, I'm sorry...about everything" Vince only nodded and hugged his godfather tightly, tears threatening to fall from his eyes as he silently said his byes "Goodbye Howard, keep him safe and help him all you can. I will send Jahooli out to accompany you to your iron home" They shook hands and Vince and Howard made their way down the planks/ladder to the sodden ground, where the loyal leopard was waiting for them.

They walked in silence (well, Howard and Jahooli walked, Vince rode on the large cat's back) back to the van, which was covered in leaves and specks of mud "Goodbye my friends, I wish you luck with your new life. Look after each other well" With that Jahooli ran off into the thick trees, leaving the two to themselves.

Thye climbed into the front of the van and drove of in silence back towards the Zooniverse. The silence was getting too much for Howard so he turned on the radio, a soft song drifting throught the silence.

_'...In the arms of an angel, fly away from here, from this dark cold hotel room and the endlessness that you fear. You are pulled from the wreckage, of your silent reverie, you're in the arms of the angel may you find some comfort there...'_

He looked to his side and gasped when he saw Vince's body shaking, quiet sobs escaping his mouth. Howard pulled the van over and tentitively placed his hand on Vince's arm "You alright?" He then mentally cursed himself for such a stupid question- of course Vince wasn't ok, he just found out about his parents deaths again and now Howard found out about it after he didn't want anyone knowing about it.

Vince turned around , but didn't face him, instead looked straight out the windscreen, tears still silently flowing. He mumbled something so quiet that Howard had to ask him what he said "I should have done something to help them...instead of just sitting their in that toilet..." He repeated quietly.

The jazz mavarick was at a loss what to do with that statement, so he gathered the electro poof in his arms and held him close, kissing his forehead and stroking his hair "No Vince, you were only five, you couldn't have done anything about those two grown up bastards...shooting your parents. They...scarificed themselves to save you and if you went out there and got yourself killed, do you think that would have been proper to them? To their memory?"

He felt Vince's head slowly shake side to side "No, I just miss them so much. At night, I've always wished for my family back" He sobbed for a bit longer, then broke apart from the hug, looking Howard in the eyes and giving him a genuine smile, making his other half smile back. Vince sat back down in his seat and stared out the windscreen once more, only a bit more cheerful "You know, I'm sorta glad they're not here, because I probably would never have met you. You're my new family now, thank you" Howard felt tears gather in his eyes at Vince's truth and held his boyfriend's hand, squeezing it softly.

Soon they got back to the zoo late afternoon, most the crowds gone and some employees leaving for closing time. Howard parked the van outside their hut- he'd move it tomorrow- and they made their way inside. Once in, Vince sat on the sofa and Howard made tea, bringing to his friend and sitting next to him "Howard? Howard? Howard-Howard-Howard-Howard...?"

"What is it, little man?" Howard asked, getting a bit annoyed as his thoughts were broken.

"Are your parents still alive?" Vince's innocent question caught him out of the blue "Yes, they live in Leeds still. Why?"

Vince ignored his question "Do you keep in touch with them still?"

"I haven't spoke to them since I left 14 years ago, never crossed my mind to" Vince nodded in understanding, his eyelids drooping and his head dropping slowly to his chest "Come on, you've been having a rough couple of nights. Time for bed" Howard didn't have any trouble getting Vince into the bedroom and undressed, tucking him under the covers

"Howard? I think you should call your parents, see how they are, you never know what might happen to them. I would give anything to see and talk to my parents again..." The rest of Vince's wish was cut off as he yawned and drifted of into a restful sleep. Howard smiled down at him and kissed his forehead gently, before moving out back into the living room. He thought for about five minutes and picked up the phone, dialing an important number.

"Hello? Mom? It's me Howard. I'm sorry I haven't phone you for awhile..."

--

The next night, Howard desided to take Vince out on the tiles, taking him to one for his favourite nightclubs to cheer him up more. Vince strutted out of the bedroom wearing an electric blue top with black drainpipes and black and silver low heeled boots, a red and black studded belt hanging loosely off his hips. His hair was shining deeply in the light as was his blue eyes, sparks of excitement deep within them. Howard himself made quite an effort and was wearing his less boring dark brown shirt, with black jeans and brown shoes.

The taxi arrived outside the zoo and took them into the heart of London, parking outside 'Diamonds'. Vince excitedly rushed in with Howard shaking his head following him, so they never saw the sign fronting the leading band for the night. Inside the place was packed, brightly colored clothing and glittering lights nearly blinded poor Howard, but Vince was loving every minute of it, grabbing his boyfriend's hand and dragged him to the bar. Howard ordered for himself a carling and for Vince, a flirtini.

On stage, two girls- one with light blond hair, wearing a electric pink top and a multicoloured skirt and the other with black hair and wearing a white, pink and blue top with a silver jacket and a green skirt- were just finishing their latest song. They then notised the boosh boys checking out the scene and memories of their last gig came fast into their minds. They said they were just going for a quick break and got down from the stage, walking towards Vince and Howard.

"Well, look's who's here? If it isn't the rock ponce and his jazz freak friend?" The blond spat out, anger taking over her senses. Vince looked at them confused "Who are you? Why's Howard a freak?"

"What's going on here? Why dosen't he rememeber us?" The dark haired girl asked, a little more calmer then her friend.

It was then Howard remembered who they were "He's had an accident, a animal attacked him and hit his head so he can't remember much. We've been trying to get his memeories back"

The raven haired looked to Vince in pity, but the blond didn't "So he can't remember the gig he wreaked for us? The contract we nearly got, but he ruined it?"

The electro poof looked confused even more, pictures and memories entering his mind. He remembered the packed club and how he got rid of their other band member- Johnny someone or other, he remembered how mass panic happened when the girls went mad at him and Howard and started stabbing everyone up, he and his friend just getting out with their lives "Ultra? Neon?"

"Oh look, he does remember, the little liar..." Ultra's words were cut off when tears of guilt welled in Vince's eyes "I'm so sorry, I didn't mean for any of that to happen. It wasn't Howard's fault, it was mine really for getting rid of that Johnny character. Can you forgive me?"

Ultra and Neon just gave each other a look of surprise "Hey, it's ok. We're not really that mad anymore, in fact we've had a much better career now without Johnny two hats with us" Neon admitted, slipping one of her arms over Vince's shoulders and gave him a playful hug, making him smile. Even Ultra smiled at him, but not touching. Howard couldn't help but smile as well when he saw Vince relaxed into the environment now he's been forgiven "Say, do you want to sing with us? For old times sake" Ultra asked.

"Yeah, course I do. Can I pick it? I know a good one for this kind of scene, just heard it yesterday and loved it" Vince asked, the girls smirking before nodding. The three of them went to the stage while Howard stood at the front, so proud of his boyfriend being able to move on after everything that's happened to him.

"Alright everyone, I'm Ultra, this is Neon and we're Kraftwork Orange and we'd like to present a special friend of ours, Vince Noir- rock and roll star" The blond called out, making the crowd cheer. Vince was nervous, but something in him was ready to go out on the stage, to sing and pull shapes and out he rushed out and went over to the girls, whispering the song he picked to them. They smiled at him, they knew the music of the song quite easily, one of their favourites as well.

"Hi, I'm Vince and this is Satrz in Their Eyes" The crowd cheering once more but fell silent as the drumbeat started up from Ultra and Neon accompaning her on that keyboard/guitar intrument.

_'They'll be making sure you stay amused, they'll fill you up with drugs and booze, maybe you'll make the evening news,  
And when you're tripping over your dreams, they'll keep you down by any means and by the end of the night you'll be stifling your screams,_

_Since you became a VIPerson, it's like your problems have all worsened, your paranoia casts aspersions, on the truths you know,  
And they'll just put you in the spotlight and hope that you'll do alright, or maybe not,_

Now why do you wanna go and put starz in their eyes? Why do you wanna go and put starz in their eyes? So why do you wanna go and put starz in their eyes? Now why do you wanna go and put starz in their eyes? Starz in their eyes?

Remember they said you'd show them all, emphasise the rise but not the fall and now you're playing a shopping mall,  
Your mum and dad they can't believe, what you appear to have achieved, while the rest of these users are just laughing in their sleeves,

Since you became a VIPerson, it's like your problems have all worsened, your paranoia casts aspersions, on the truths you know,  
And now the tabloids use your face, to document your fall from grace and then they'll tell you that that's just the way it goes, That's just the way it goes,

Now why do you wanna go and put starz in their eyes? It's the same old story well they just didn't realise and it's a long way to come from the dog and duck karaoke machine and Saturday night's drunken dreams. Now why do you wanna go and put starz in their eyes? It's the same old story well they just didn't realise and it's a long way to come from your private bedroom dance routines and Saturday night's drunken dreams

Now why do you wanna go and put starz in their eyes? Why do you wanna go and put starz in their eyes? So why do you wanna go and put starz in their eyes? Now why do you wanna go and put starz in their eyes? Starz in their eyes?'

As the song ended, the crowd cheering ;loudly, stomping their feet and waving their arms in the air, whistling loudly and yelling for more. Howard watched with his version of Vince's dizzy grin as he saw his boyfriend enjoying the attention, bowing low before smiling brightly and waving to the crowd. He turned to acknowledge Ultra and Neon to the crowd, themselves bowing low before walking forwards and flinging their arms around Vince's shoulders (yes even Ultra).

--

I hope I got Ultra and Neon's characters right hehe sorry that's it's short but I'll make up for it soon i promise from chugirl2526


	6. Chapter 6

Memories and Fear.

Summery- A little one off sequal to 'Pain can lead to Feelings'. Vince hits his head badly feeding the animals and forgets everything about his life, and his love from Howard. He even becomes more afraid of the animals in the zoo. Can Howard help him remember before long?

Disclaimer- The Boosh dosen't belong to me, it belongs to two wonderful people with more talent then me.

Music I will be using in this chapter: Starz in Their Eyes- Just Jack and Angel- Sarah McLachlan (thanks radar-rox for this song idea )

Author's notes- thanks for all of you that reviewed the last chapter, short but with violence and major angst :( this chapter is deadicated to violence4 because she loves the stuff and to stars of andromeda, who's 'From London to New York' inspired this chapter

--

Outiside the club, Vince and Howard walked out arm in arm with dizzy grins on their faces, as the full moon looked down upon them.

"I'm the moon. I...I once lost my memory once...and I thought I was a large floating disco ball...so I floated down and made home in a local disco, hehe. A week later...they finally found out the moon was gone...cause the sea was going mad without me. So they found me at work...and begged me to go back up, but I said 'No, I'm happy here...leave me alone', so they paid me 1000 euros a month to stay up there. So now I'm the richest planet...richer then Saturn hehe. I'm the moon, yeah"

As the couple walked down the road, they never notised some young bloke jump in front of them, eyes wild with drugs as a gun shook in his hand "Give me all your fuckin' money, NOW!"

Howard took a step back in shock, pushing Vince behind him "We haven't got any, just leave us alone"

"Listen, I won't hurt you or your pretty girlfriend if you just give me your cash" The druggy promised, cocking the gun just to be prepared.

"I just said we don't have money, go bother someone else for some" Howard said, his voice wavering with fear.

"Fine, then I'll jusy enjoy myself with your woman there" The young man pushed Howard to the floor and grabbed Vince's wrist, pulling him close to him and wrapping his arm tightly around the electro poof. He kept the gun trained one Howard, as he backed away with Vince, stroking his thumb down the pale cheek "Me and you will have a good time, sweetheart, without this loser bothering us"

Vince grew angry and stomped his foot down on his captor, making him yell and loosen his grip, allowing Vince to escape "Howard, run now!" He tried to run with his boyfriend, but the attacker grabbed his ankle and made him slam to the floor, the pavement grazing his hands. Vince turned to see the drug addict dragged himself towards him, a lust filled expression in his eyes "Now, we're not playing around now, darling. You're mine now"

Howard saw what was happening to his boyfriend and ran back, kicking the addict in the face before picking up Vince, dragging him along the street, hoping to find the police or any help. The attacker wasn't giving up without a fight and aimed his gun towards Howard, Vince looking behind and seeing the gun going off "Howard, look out!" He yelled before pushing Howard down to the floor.

Howard turned to see the attacker giving up and running off, back into the alleyway he came from "We're safe now, Vince. He's gone now" There was no answer "Vince?" Fearing the worst, he turned his head down and his heart stopped in his chest at the sight. Vince was lying on his front in a small pool of blood, his face growing more pale by the second "Vince!"

The jazz mavarick knelt down and turned his friend over, wincing as he saw the bullet wound in Vince's chest, blood oozing out quickly "Help! Somebody help him!" He yelled out, hoping someone could hear him.

"H...howard?" The voice was so queit, Howard nearly missed his name been asked by Vince. He looked down to see blue eyes tinged with pain, tears running down the pale, pointed cheeks "I don't...wanna die..."

"You're not gonna die, Vince. I won't let you" Howard said, his own tears falling down, splashing on Vince's face and mingled with his tears "Don't make promises...you can't keep" Vince smiled before lauching into a coughing fit, blood escaping from his mouth and dripping down his lips "Tell everyone at the zoo...I said...bye and I'm glad...they became my second family. Except Bainbridge...he's a ballbag" He coughed again, more blood dripping out onto Howard's top (as if he cared about that at a time like this...) "I love you so much Howard, thank you for being there for me..." He drifted off as his eyes closed, his breathing getting weaker and weaker.

"Vince, you can't leave me, you can't. Not after everything we've been through" When he got no answer, he gently shook Vince, trying to coax some life into his boyfriend "Damn you Vince, I won't fucking let you go, don't let that bastard win. Please Vince, wake up..." His rant ending in broken sobs as he held Vince close to him, kissing his hair and stroking his cheek gently as sobs racked his body.

"What the hell's going on out here?" Howard thought he'd never be so glad to hear Neon's voice. He looked up to see her and Ultra's shocked faces at the sorry state Vince was in "Some drug fuelled nutter just tried to rob us, then he tried getting it on with Vince, but we got away and ran. I think he was meant to shoot me but Vince...he...pushed me out the way and took the bullet himself..."

"Ultra, go back inside and call an ambulance, quickly" Seeing her friend rush back in, Neon ripped some of her top and pressed it to Vince's chest, making him moan "Did you hear that? He's still alive...he's still alive!" Howard announced, a smile forming on his face at this infomation. A few minutes later, the ambulance pulled up and strapped Vince to a stretcher, placing him in the back. Howard climbed in, holding his boyfriend's hand as they drove off.

--

At the hospital, Howard nervously paced the floor waiting for news. Ultra and Neon came behind them in a taxi, while Naboo and Bollo flew on the shaman's magic carpet, all four sitting in those crap and uncomfortable plastic chairs. The jazz mavarick looked up and saw a familiar and hopeful sight walking towards him- Dr Taylor.

"Mister Moon? I have some good news and bad news about Vince's condition. The good news is that he's going to make a good recovery, but the bad news is because of all the blood loss, he's succumbed to a coma" Howard felt physically sick at his words "Will he wake up?"

"I'm not sure, comas can be like memory loss, you're never sure when the patient will recover from it. It could take a few days for him to wake, it took take a year, maybe more" Dr Taylor explained.

"Can I see him?" Howard asked, tears welling in his eyes.

"Of course, I'll show you to his room" The jazz mavarick turned to see if anyone else was coming with him, but they all shook their heads "You need to be with him, not us" Naboo said, a sad smile playing on his face.

Howard nodded his thanks and followed the doctor up some stairs and down a corridor maked 'Critical Ward', going into a small room. His breath caught in his throat at the sight of his lover- lying back with a tube inserted in his throat to help him breath and a large white bandage covering his chest, his raven hair limp and lifeless and his skin even too pale for him. Howard sat next to him by the bed and held his hand, stroking the back of it with his thumb slowly. He understood that you could talk to coma patients and hopefully they'll come back to the sound of your voice.

"Vince, I don't know if you can hear me, but if you you can please come back to me. I miss you so much, I miss your childish questions, I miss your sunshine filled smile. The others are worried about you too, even Ultra and Neon if you can believe it" He paused to stroke Vince's hair, trailing his hand down and stroking his pale cheek gently "Come on Vince, if you don't wake up, I'm putting some jazz on" He threatened, but to no avail, making tears fall freely down his face "Please Vince, you're too important to too many people, mainly me...please come back..." He broke down into harder sobs, burying his head into the sheets next to Vince's hand.

--

Vince awoken into a black void, pain clouding his mind "Hello?" He called out, his question echoing into the distance "Anyone here?" A flash of light blinded him and out of it walked two people- a woman with long light brown hair and blue eyes and a man with black short hair and green eyes. Vince couldn't believe his own eyes at the sight in front of him "Mom? Dad?"

He threw himself at them and held them tight, tears flowing freely down his face "God, I thought I'd never see you again...I'm so sorry...I never did anything to help you...I love you guys so much and I miss you..." He started hiccuping as his sobs took over his body, Isabella rubbing her hand slowly down her son's back comfortable-like.

"Vince, you were five, you couldn't have done anything about it. It wasn't your fault that we died, don't ever think that" She said, her soft voice soothing Vince until his sobs stopped but his body still shook with small hiccups. He lifted his head up and gave a small, but steady smile to his mother and father

"There's my happy son. You know, we've been watching you from Heaven and I must say, that Howard is good you" Micheal said, smiling down to his son.

Vince gave a dizzy smile "Thanks, I love him so much...but I left him. I've left him all alone..." His smile dropped as fresh tears welled in his eyes.

"No Vince, that isn't so" Isabella admitted.

"What do you mean? Aren't I dead and up in Heaven with you guys?" The electro poof asked, confused.

"Not really, you're having a near death experience. We just wanted to grant you your wish before you wake up" Micheal explained.

"My wish...? I wish I could see my parents one last time..." Realisation dawned on Vince "Does that mean you're going, leaving me again?"

"No, we will never leave you. We will always be watching you and will always be in your heart" Isabella gathered her son in her arms once more, Micheal wrapping his arms around the pair too "Just remember we both love you so much and we are so proud of what you've done with your life since that night, but it's time for you to go back"

Vince was reluctent to let go, but know he must, Howard was waiting for him "I love you guys so much too, I'll never forget you guys, I promise" They waved at him as they moved back towards the beam of bright light, disappearing with a flash. The flash engulfed Vince, blinding him once more.

--The first thing Vince notised when he woke up was that he couldn't swallow, the second thing was Howard asleep next to him. The jazz mavarick woke when he heard frightened whimpers coming from the body next to him and was surprised to see Vince awake, trying to work out what the hell the tubes for. Howard reached over and pressed the 'call nurse' button "Vince? Oh thank God"

A few seconds passed when Dr Taylor came in, followed by a young blond nurse "Calm down now Mister Noir, we'll take the tube out now" When it was out and the doctor and nurse left, the electro poof couldn't help but cough and splutter, Howard holding his hand tightly as he made Vince drink some water "Howard? What...happened...?"

"You were shot, you took the bullet for me you stupid prick" Howard nearly shouted, his worry and fear gathering up into a small rage. He regretted his words when he saw the hurt look on his boyfriend's face "Of course I would, I wasn't gonna let you get bloody shot, was I?" Vince nearly shouted back, but it came out as a small rant which left him coughing again.

"I'm sorry Vince, I was so scared and worrried you wasn't coming back" Howard admitted, kissing the back of the hand he was holding, tears pouring down his face, making Vince feel guilty "I'm sorry Howard, I shouldn't have shouted and I'm sorry I left you like that" Tears fell down Vince's own face as he held his lover's hand tightly "I promise I'll never leave you again, I love you too much to hurt you like that"

They sat in silence for a moment, enjoying each other's company and occasionally sniffing "I meet my parents again, they approved of you anyway" Vince giggled, smiling at the blush appearing on Howard's face "Are we going to be alright now?"

Howard gave a soft smile "Of course, you'll recover and no-one will hurt you again" He watched as Vince slowly edged away from him, gasping in pain as he made some space on the bed "Please, lie with me" Howard couldn't resist his puupy dog pout and got onto the bed, gathering Vince gently in his arms, minding his injuries.

"I love you Howard, so much" Vince said, before yawning and drifting back into a deep sleep. Howard couldn't help but smile down at Vince, his best friend, his boyfriend, his soul mate who he would never leave, would never hurt and never hate him, no matter what. He kissed the electro poof's forehead before drifting off into a light slumber, the nurse walking past didn't have the heart to tell him that visiting time was over and left the loving couple alone.

--

Finished I hope you all enjoyed this story and I'm sorry if the ending sucked, I didn't have any other ideas except hurting Vince again somehow lol God bless Vince sadisim from chugirl2526.


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